clip clop clip clop

and so this trail..a trotting one...
could not be less of a track than a tread...and this slate no less a board than a bed
...and once i'd lain...and flat...outstretched as you pictured...as you confessed-
but i cannot...i cannot...
for now there are visions that haunt me while adorned in this red dress

of the very likes that i am...of coarse... i am not...
but i do remember that i have not forgot...

id sell out-and sell all that i got-but i'd become more of what i'm not...and i am not

but for that which is...i concede...to all that should or could be ...AND belief is to be strongly believed and BELIEF IS TO BE STRONGLY BELIEVED....

shadow keepers copyright 2009

And so- is it the hearts mellow manner and somewhat sorted out fears…the unaffected
Or rather
to some extent …a longing of that which can never quite ever be fulfilled ...just a taunting instead…
a tease …a torture …a resemblance of that which is home yet a distance that is only impossible for that to be…
to have been running all this life and yet there is no destination …is it a heart’s desire …to seek that which is un found…
how then desire…no …
maybe that’s the breathe …the very living being …desperation...not so much wanting…but needing…desperately…that which is not inside…a soul that cannot be compelled because the very heart is bulging from the lure of a temptress in dimmed lights …for shadows are favor upon her heavy eyes.. set tightly… groping at helplessness…shadows are keepers and night is falling anyway….so to sleep …there tucked snug….because there are only memories anyway..There are only memories.

Is today a holiday? ….Nope it’s Dad’s Birthday…..05/07/09

Is today a holiday? ….Nope it’s Dad’s Birthday…..05/07/09

As I was getting ready this morning…it felt like a special day…seemed like a holiday…I was going to be making dinner for the family…I was going to buy a gift…and I even found myself wanting to mention this “special” day as I was typing an email….i made a phone call and almost mentioned it again….then I sat back and kind of laughed at myself…(thinking this is what Frank is talking about when he pokes fun at me about my dad)…..what am I talking about…well in my mind it seemed today should be a day reserved for observance….of a very special man…MY DAD! Well, yes it is his Birthday of coarse…and here I thought everyone else was aware…???

My whole life I have felt like a silly little daddy’s girl…I followed him around everywhere as I was growing up…and even as I got older…I continued to follow him everywhere (by wanting to imitate him)…I finally realized (yes it took awhile) I am my own person…with my own thoughts…and very happy to be embracing my own life….and now, though I can see our differences and appreciate them…I am so thankful for our likenesses….

I don’t know why…but I always wanted to be most like him…I suppose it is admiration….I would have had my feeling hurt so badly…if one of my siblings would have been more closely compared to him than I…after all I was the daddy’s girl….(not realizing until later, he made us all feel like daddy’s little girl or daddy’s boy)

Well, after growing up and realizing that it is a wonderful thing to have distinction… I now in retrospect can fully see that each one of my “siblings” has some very dominant traits from my dad…
I think my sister has his “stubborn” nature…a trait that is both a blessing and a curse…but one that I do wish I could have inherited in a way…they are hardcore once they have made up there mind about something…and if they say they are going to do it…man watch out…because it will be done(well it eventually gets done with my dad) ….my brother…I think very much so has some mannerisms much like pops…sometimes you see him in a glimpse or hear him talk and you’re like “whoa…izzy, stop being dad”, also I believe my brother is very similar in his personality…an “on his terms” kinda guy….he might feel like making you laugh or he might just feel like sitting back and thinking about something (something probably over my head, like the chemical makeup of kryptonite…or how to make an electrical current observable in every state….(hehe maybe thats stuff I think about and I’m smart like dad too..hahaha) well anyway…the traits I got from my dad…ill leave to someone else’s observance…but I like to think they are distinguishable ….I know for sure we all got Dad’s temper…and well that isn’t so pretty ..but I promise we come by it honestly…
Well I thought to myself…here it is almost mother’s day I’m writing an op-ed on my dad…(my mom would say…sounds about right..haha) Although I know from the bottom of my heart that part of the reason I think my dad is so wonderful…is because he has been madly in love with my mom always -and in truth don’t believe any of us kids would have had the kind of relationship we do with him, if it wasn’t for the happiness he found with my mom….

Well …since this not a national holiday…and for that I actually glad (I don’t want to have to share my dad with everyone!) I do want to take a minute and express how thankful I am to GOD…for this day…my Dad’s Birthday!!!!!

of worth for smaller matters--©2009

of worth for smaller matters
and time did fly
on by, on by
for I saw it once a top the hill
there tall, standing still

and moment glared if not fixed just right
for all the matters small and high
a climb to be the scented core
and fall there upon my moutains sword

with this you can count on me -©2009

Like a line I follow-when I’m the straight bend…do count on me –to come to an end
Slighter and lighter and less surrounding-and choking and stretching and un-astounding
I’m only one thing and I’m only one turn-and I’m the only one left with sticks to burn

Run out your vigor and restore your pain -and make it so we count on this …over and over again
Fine –so your delightful yet brittle to touch-underscored with burgundy wine and sorrow and such

Hold yourself together –your holes do not seep out that buried grain-only flushing particle pieces from a less than partial day

And that you are –and this I am –and that I wish to be-
Over and over and over again - and with this you can count on me.

for all these things that i have done ©2009

for once i believed that just as I feel ...
so you too would feel-
and as I imagined...so you too could imagine-
for twas not a mirror that I was engaged...
no but a self....
a self- i thought could be similar to mine-

does not anger speak...
does not silence speak...
does not sadness speak...
does not harshness speak...
does not time speak...
does not fear speak...
do not WORDS speak

for not memories-
for not laughter-
for not dreams-
for not me

for not me

there is less of me without you
and there is me....
there is still me...

for not my heart staken-
i would know other means
...it is just a heart

and so does not LOVE speak

Mud Slide Ridin' ©2009

We’re older now and this means something
we’ll make a move even if it stands for nothing
Don’t see much when you’re conditioned
Don’t see much ‘cept repetition
Didn’t want to have this conversation
you tellin’ me of our digression

My eyes their fair and somewhat blinded
I just do what I do and hope you don’t mind it
cause you can’t hear much when you’re talkin’
not much of a view the direction your walkin’
Don’t wanna try and understand this
we’re so dignified just entertain us

Modern man you look so easy
Common man you act so sleezy
Hard luck and consequence is what you’re made from
but your mind of will and inherited skill … you have abandoned
By and by always so taken
live with an identity you wish you were fakin’

in my palm –I captured time that’s raining
but we have no cause, and we’re just waiting
better days they have awakened
but all of our wins we have forsaken
we don’t stand alone, and we’re not divided
we’ve all sat down and there’s a mud slide ridin’

for love we do know better ©2009

of reason we know no answer
and prediction not of time
but for love we do know better
and no better than of mine
for love may not be likeness
but a kindness of a soul
and the kind that is a binding
to the only ONE I know
for if I am of HIM
then he is of me too
and all that is within me
by HIM so shall I do

no title ©2009

there she went down the hall and my voice lingered with an echo
do you ever really know who you are until your faced with the -let go
come on now you'll let her down if by out running her she can find you
with that your faced....too damned to understand that the chase is all she's drawn to

can you find her, wrapped in the time that lost her...can you free her by holding taunt the chains that tie her

for very well you see that dreams are made by waking
and wearily to hell you go if by waking you stop dreaming

be that which you are for on purpose and with point you will discover
That be that what it may....the portrait to portray its subject and its lover